flashbacks
15.09.03
A set of numbers that had so much meaning to it. The day when I met my true love...but I was too childish, immature, playful you would say...to have let it go...4 yrs later.
Going thru all the stuff you once made for me, from every anniversary, to my bday..every lil note brought me tears. Asking myself " why was I so stupid? ". Was I too blind? Immature? I guess...
Now that Im gonna ORD soon, thinking back on the very 1st day i went Tekong, b4 we parted at the jetty, I still remembered that hug. The tear-filled eyes, but I just had to hold it back. Everytime I booked out, you would be so happy and always travelling over to my house to watch me take a nap while you study b4 we went out.
It's really thru NS that made me grew, to be much mature, to look at everything differently, to really bring the MAN out of the boy.
B4 we ended, I kept having that mentality in mind that "Im sure there's someone better". And that was what that ws stucked in my head even when I left.
Even after we broke up, there were ppl that I got to know that I fell for. I even sorted you for solutions. But did I ever tell you that whenever I see you, it just gives me this indescribable feeling, and this urge to hold your hand and call u "honey" again....then you told me about Mr.D.
So I thought, I guess you're happy..and I should be glad for you. Our last movie together, "Jumper"..I asked you again if it's possible for us to start all over again. You were cold, you never gave me a definite answer. And you said you really liked Mr.D. Those words....jus hit me so hard that I broke down in the theatre.
It's a funny thing it's been so long, yet everytime I think about you I would just tear.
That long talk that we had that nite, you sound so different. You seem so cold and emotionless. How could you not even think about the past? It was a 4yr r/s....
Yest while going out to buy breakfast with my senior, I was asking him how long have he been married? He said 6 yrs..with a 2yr old daughter. and he's only 29. Hmm then he started saying..this wife of his, he knew her since sec sch...they broke up a couple of times but still...got together in the end. He has many fren arnd him who get married aft knowing that other half for a few months. Then he was complaining..."that isn't love! It's just a liking. Love, you really need to know that person well, every pattern and "seh" about this person. Being togther and living with one another are 2 different things." That got me thinking....
It's you. YOu know everything about me. Every pattern and habits and "seh" that I have, like how I would dare to say i know yours. Reading thru your past letters and cards you made for me...I agree, it really wasn't love at first sight. But the funny thing is...it actually blossomed so well...till I killed it. And like what you said...it's really true, undying love. At least I knew you were really that girl who stand by me no matter wad....and all that thick and thin we've gone thru.....
Seeing you in love now with Mr.D...I should be happy. Should I? They say, being in love it's about seeing that other half happy. IT'S NOT TRUE! Why am I not the one who's able to give you that happiness? And how you could actually say " yes i'm sure he will give me happiness"...
So much to say.....but who can I blame but myself....
End of part 1
A set of numbers that had so much meaning to it. The day when I met my true love...but I was too childish, immature, playful you would say...to have let it go...4 yrs later.
Going thru all the stuff you once made for me, from every anniversary, to my bday..every lil note brought me tears. Asking myself " why was I so stupid? ". Was I too blind? Immature? I guess...
Now that Im gonna ORD soon, thinking back on the very 1st day i went Tekong, b4 we parted at the jetty, I still remembered that hug. The tear-filled eyes, but I just had to hold it back. Everytime I booked out, you would be so happy and always travelling over to my house to watch me take a nap while you study b4 we went out.
It's really thru NS that made me grew, to be much mature, to look at everything differently, to really bring the MAN out of the boy.
B4 we ended, I kept having that mentality in mind that "Im sure there's someone better". And that was what that ws stucked in my head even when I left.
Even after we broke up, there were ppl that I got to know that I fell for. I even sorted you for solutions. But did I ever tell you that whenever I see you, it just gives me this indescribable feeling, and this urge to hold your hand and call u "honey" again....then you told me about Mr.D.
So I thought, I guess you're happy..and I should be glad for you. Our last movie together, "Jumper"..I asked you again if it's possible for us to start all over again. You were cold, you never gave me a definite answer. And you said you really liked Mr.D. Those words....jus hit me so hard that I broke down in the theatre.
It's a funny thing it's been so long, yet everytime I think about you I would just tear.
That long talk that we had that nite, you sound so different. You seem so cold and emotionless. How could you not even think about the past? It was a 4yr r/s....
Yest while going out to buy breakfast with my senior, I was asking him how long have he been married? He said 6 yrs..with a 2yr old daughter. and he's only 29. Hmm then he started saying..this wife of his, he knew her since sec sch...they broke up a couple of times but still...got together in the end. He has many fren arnd him who get married aft knowing that other half for a few months. Then he was complaining..."that isn't love! It's just a liking. Love, you really need to know that person well, every pattern and "seh" about this person. Being togther and living with one another are 2 different things." That got me thinking....
It's you. YOu know everything about me. Every pattern and habits and "seh" that I have, like how I would dare to say i know yours. Reading thru your past letters and cards you made for me...I agree, it really wasn't love at first sight. But the funny thing is...it actually blossomed so well...till I killed it. And like what you said...it's really true, undying love. At least I knew you were really that girl who stand by me no matter wad....and all that thick and thin we've gone thru.....
Seeing you in love now with Mr.D...I should be happy. Should I? They say, being in love it's about seeing that other half happy. IT'S NOT TRUE! Why am I not the one who's able to give you that happiness? And how you could actually say " yes i'm sure he will give me happiness"...
So much to say.....but who can I blame but myself....
End of part 1
Labels: Stupid...Regret
posted by JosH at
10:55 AM
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